Grizzard About Auburn
This was posted earlier today on the other forum -
The following column from 1972 was written by the late Lewis Grizzard, columnist for the Atlanta Journal. He also wrote about his heart surgery in a book, "They Took My Heart Out and Stomped That Sucker Flat".
(I once heard Grizzard reminisce about singing loudly from the Broadman Hymnal with David Housel after they had put away a bottle of Jack Daniel's.)
"I must admit the fact an Auburn man once saved my life has
> something to do with all of this. And I must admit further
> what follows will be completely biased. I simply couldn't
> allow the opportunity to pass without saying a few more
> words in behalf of the 1972 Auburn football team.
>
> And on behalf of Auburn itself.
>
> I got my first taste of sin at Auburn; 16, or close to it,
> with a bottle of Old Something an of-age friend had
> purchased at the state store up the road at Opelika.
>
> As I recall it now, I wound up in a lonely stall in the
> third-floor restroom of a fraternity house while the party
> roared onward downstairs.
>
> There, as my life flashed in front of me and, being grateful
> I had at least heeded my mother's words not to smoke, a kind
> Auburn student, a veteran of such incidents, wet-toweled me
> back to health.
>
> I never got his name, but I have been forever grateful, and
> I have held a warm place in my heart for Auburn ever since,
> although I sought higher education elsewhere.
>
> It is with that preface I hereby state I do, indeed, hope
> Auburn wins its Gator Bowl game against Colorado, and that
> is the signal for all my poison pen pals from down the road
> in Tuscaloosa to start buying stamps.
>
> Auburn.
>
> I think of purity for some reason.
>
> Of nothing to do but go to Toomer's and talk about what you
> talked about the day before and the day before that.
>
> Of a low hippie ratio on campus. Of real grass growing on
> the football field. Of grown men in sweaters and
> open-collared shirts with 50-yard line seats.
>
> I think of Gerald Rutberg, a friend of mine, who edited the
> college newspaper at Auburn and used to ask me every day how
> I thought "The Big Blue" would do against whomever.
>
> Of Bottle, Ala., which is actually a suburb of Auburn.
>
> Of the Yearouts. Of Pat Sullivan, still the most exciting
> college football player I've ever seen.
>
> Of Shug Jordan.
>
> There are two remarks that still stand out in my mind
> concerning Shug Jordan, and those two lines say it all.
>
> I once asked Harry Mehre if he thought Shug would quit
> coaching amidst the illness and the rumors.
>
> "Shug will coach as long as he can. He still loves the
> things most coaches don't think about anymore. He still
> loves the rah-rah part of this thing.
>
> He walks onto the field and hears all that War Eagle
> business they do down there, and Shug knows it's all
> worthwhile," said the old coach.
>
> The first time I went to Auburn on business, I asked former
> Journal colleague, Tom McCollister, what kind of interview
> was Shug Jordan.
>
> "Talking to Shug," Tom replied, "Is like talking to your
> daddy."
>
> Auburn.
>
> I think of the basketball coach, Bill Lynn, who looks and
> sounds like a hard-shelled Baptist preacher.
>
> Of journalism professor David Housel saying, "Auburn is in
> the best interest of the American dream."
>
> Of Buddy Davidson, who has never found either of the two
> topcoats I have left in the Auburn press box.
>
> Of Bill Beckwith, the worst golfer in history ever to score
> a hole-in-one.
>
> Of a golf tournament they had at Auburn once and the beer
> they carted to you on each tee, and of shooting 95 after
> being one-over through seven holes. That damn beer.
>
> Of Randy Walls.
>
> Randy Walls was the quarterback in 1972, Sullivan's
> successor. He was the number four quarterback at the end of
> spring practice.
>
> "It wasn't what Randy did for us this year," said an Auburn
> coach. "It's what he didn't do. He didn't make mistakes."
>
> Actually, he did make one. So excited was he about starting
> Auburn's first game, the young sophomore went out for the
> pre-game warm-up with his jersey on backwards.
>
> In the Georgia Tech game, Randy Walls didn't do anything
> right but win the football game. "I didn't know Walls could
> run like that," somebody in the press box said after a
> 30-yard jaunt that resembled your grandmother going after
> the mail. "He can't" was the reply.
>
> He can't. But he did.
>
> Auburn.
>
> I think of the pasture land adjacent to the campus. Of my
> favorite Auburn line, "What do you get if you cross an
> Auburn man and a gorilla?" A hairy county agent."
>
> Of not being able to smoke in the Auburn Coliseum. Of the
> old Sports Arena and Layton Johns. Of Terry Henley.
>
> "Them FSU players bit me on the leg in the pile-ups," said
> Terry Henley, college football's answer to Will Rogers.
>
> "They must not have had their pre-game meal."
>
> Did Terry Henley get tired carrying the football 25 times a
> game?
>
> "Hell, no," said Terry Henley. "I carried it 50 times a day
> in spring practice."
>
> Auburn.
>
> I think of unlisting my telephone number after an irate
> Auburn fan, a woman, called my home and said she hoped
> poison darts rained down on my body and I died.
>
> Of a fellow from my hometown writing me and saying to never
> come back because "you stink, stink, stink." And all because
> I wrote Pat Sullivan was bush for not talking to writers
> after losing to Alabama.
>
> Of picking against Auburn all year long, except once --the
> LSU game. ,
>
> Of Owen Davis' line, "Jordan waved his hand, and the Red
> Shirts parted."
>
> Of Auburn students covering the whole town in toilet paper
> after the Alabama victory and somebody saying, "You mean
> they used both rolls?"
>
> Auburn.
>
> It went 9-1 when it wasn't supposed to win three; defeated
> three top 10 teams, stopped the nation's longest winning
> streak three times in one season, got a bowl bid, and did my
> heart a lot of good."
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